Points to consider in your children custody case after a divorce (part 5 - final part)

NOTE: Pennsylvania law does not presume one parent is better than the other as a custodial parent and many county courts look to share physical custody, as close to 50/50%, as possible. While judges base child custody decisions on many variables, and the Pennsylvania law sets forth all the factors a court must consider in a child custody case, this series includes some of the more important factors Pennsylvania courts typically consider when making these decisions.  While there are no guarantees in child custody disputes, taking these actions may increase your chances of a favorable result.

This blog is part 5, the final part of this series, and discusses two more points of the 10 points we plan to discuss and for you to consider when trying to position yourself to maximize your physical custody of your children.

9. Facilitate the opposing party’s custody as much as possible.

 

If you thought it was your job to prevent the other side from exercising custody, you haven't been paying attention to common sense or the law.  If your former partner is a good parent, or more precisely, a court has found them to be a good parent, then it is your job as a parent to ensure the child benefits from the love and companionship of the other parent. In fact, Pennsylvania has codified this requirement in its divorce code. The Pennsylvania statute:

§ 5303. Award of custody, partial custody or visitation.

Image courtesy of stockimages
at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

(a) General rule.--In making an order for custody, partial custody or visitation to either parent, the court shall consider, among other factors, which parent is more likely to encourage, permit and allow frequent and continuing contact and physical access between the noncustodial parent and the child... (emphasis added)

In Pennsylvania, the court must consider whether you are the parent who will facilitate the other parent's relationship with the child.  It is the first factor listed in the statute.  So, you should show the court that you are more than willing to facilitate custody in the other parent.  Therefore, you should not work to deny the child the other parent if you want to have and keep primary custody.

10. Recognize Your Own Limits & Needs

Many times custody issues arise when a relationship breaks up, or other stressors begin working on the children or parties.  Lawyers often find that custody clients may need to slow down, and work on their own issues before rushing into a court battle.  Litigating the custody issues at a time when the drama of the breakup is causing erratic behavior can lead to bad results in the custody case.  A parent who waits a short time to stabilize their life and who has placed sometime between the breakup and the custody battle can be a benefit.  You want the judge or mediator to meet you at a high point, not your lowest state. This may mean sitting back and taking care of yourself, and not moving as quickly forward with your custody case.

Please keep in mind we are not trying to set you up to "win" a court case. This series is a set of factors for you to consider to position yourself in the best place for you to contribute to the stability, welfare, and well-being of your children.

If you want assistance, legal representation, or just want to know more about Douglas Wortman or Medvesky Law Office, LLC, check out our website at www.medveskylaw.com.

#Custody #Divorce #Bucks_County #lawyer #lawyers, #Montgomery_County #Souderton #Law_Firm

Points to consider in your children custody case after a divorce (part 4)

NOTE: Pennsylvania law does not presume one parent is better than the other as a custodial parent and many county courts look to share physical custody, as close to 50/50%, as possible. While judges base child custody decisions on many variables, and the Pennsylvania law sets forth all the factors a court must consider in a child custody case, this series includes some of the more important factors Pennsylvania courts typically consider when making these decisions.  While there are no guarantees in child custody disputes, taking these actions may increase your chances of a favorable result.

This blog is part 4 and discusses two more points of the 10 points we plan to discuss and for you to consider when trying to position yourself to maximize your physical custody of your children.

7. Place the children’s needs above the custody fight.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Placing the child's needs first is a simple and easy way to show the court that you have the children’s best interest in mind.  While this seems simple in theory, divorcing couples often forget to consider the child’s needs and emotions over what actions might make the other parent’s life more difficult.

Showing a court you put the child ahead of the litigation or custody fight indicates to the judge that you are a good parent.  So, evaluate your position before you act.  Are you are acting merely out of anger or frustration with the other parent?  If so, step back and be sure your decision is in the child's best interest.

8. Don’t involve the children in the custody fight.

Avoid, at all costs, placing the child directly in the custody battle.  The less they know about the parent's custody disagreements, the better the job the parents are doing.

Yet, many parents are convinced that their young child has strong feelings about which parent they prefer, and actively involve them.  Many times it is the parent projecting their views of custody on the child.  Judges and lawyers often have both parties claiming that the child has indicated that the child wants to live with them.  Then when the child meets with a psychologist or in the judge’s chambers the parties often find they do have a preference, usually for split custody and a wish for their parents not to fight.  It can also set up an environment for the child to pit one parent against the other when it is most important to communicate and work together.

Therefore, avoid extensively discussing the custody situation with the child, and leave that to the counselors and doctors.  Children will often tell you what they think you want to hear, no matter how independent you may feel they are being. 

Finally, avoid using the child as a messenger.  No child should have to relay changes in custody or one parent's displeasure to the other parent.  If the other parent needs to be talked to about a custody issue, do it yourself, or through counsel.  Young children and even older children do not need to relay custody changes or address custody disputes. Work to keep communications open for the sake of the children.

Please keep in mind we are not trying to set you up to "win" a court case. This series is a set of factors for you to consider to position yourself in the best place for you to contribute to the stability, welfare, and well-being of your children.

If you want assistance, legal representation, or just want to know more about Douglas Wortman or Medvesky Law Office, LLC, check out our website at www.medveskylaw.com.

#Custody #Divorce #Bucks_County #lawyer #lawyers, #Montgomery_County #Souderton #Law_Firm

Points to consider in your children custody case after a divorce (part 3)

NOTE: Pennsylvania law does not presume one parent is better than the other as a custodial parent and many county courts look to share physical custody, as close to 50/50%, as possible. While judges base child custody decisions on many variables, and the Pennsylvania law sets forth all the factors a court must consider in a child custody case, this series includes some of the more important factors Pennsylvania courts typically consider when making these decisions.  While there are no guarantees in child custody disputes, taking these actions may increase your chances of a favorable result.

This blog is part 3 and discusses two more points of the 10 points we plan to discuss and for you to consider when trying to position yourself to maximize your physical custody of your children.



Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5. Find and keep stability in your life.

Stability is key to custody.  Few things concern the court more than a parent who keeps changing jobs, changing housing, and changing who they are dating. This pattern could reflect instability to a judge.

Psychologists tell courts that children need routine and stability, which should extend to all aspects of the child's life.  Therefore, judges look for stability and consistency in a parent.  If you do need to change jobs or housing, do so with a carefully thought out plan of action.

If you change your life around a lot, the other parent will argue that no matter how your current situation seems to the court, that it is unproven and unlikely to last. It is hard to convince the court your situation is a good one, if the other side can point out that it is subject to constant revision.

So, remember to think stability in all aspect of your personal and public life, to ensure an advantage in custody litigation.

6. Hire a lawyer who knows custody and who you can afford.

There are couples who can work out custody on their own here in Pennsylvania. Those are the fortunate couples. When you cannot agree, you should consult a lawyer.  Court rules can be complex and filled with pitfalls for the untrained.

The real problem is it is hard decouple yourself emotionally from the fight.  Do you want a surgeon that gets angry, sad or depressed while he operates on your body?  A good lawyer is not emotionally attached to your situation, and can help you better understand what is possible and realistic.  This doesn't mean they have to be cold or unsympathetic, but it does mean they must and can maintain a professional detachment.

While a good lawyer is rarely free, costs can vary greatly.  In fact, most people don't know what to pay for an attorney.  A highly experienced attorney might charge a lot more for a particular case, but might not be able to be any more successful. A novice attorney may be just as successful if the facts and law are certain in a case.

You should also stay in budget. If you overpay for your resources, you might not be able to sustain the custody litigation.  You don't want to burn all of your legal funds too quickly. Be careful about spending too much too soon.  You might be able to afford the high priced attorney for a short term, but what if the case drags on?

Please keep in mind we are not trying to set you up to "win" a court case. This series is a set of factors for you to consider to position yourself in the best place for you to contribute to the stability, welfare, and well-being of your children.

If you want assistance, legal representation, or just want to know more about Douglas Wortman or Medvesky Law Office, LLC, check out our website at www.medveskylaw.com.

#Custody #Divorce #Bucks_County #lawyer #lawyers, #Montgomery_County #Souderton #Law_Firm

Points to consider in your children custody case after a divorce (part 2)

NOTE: Pennsylvania law does not presume one parent is better than the other as a custodial parent and many county courts look to share physical custody, as close to 50/50%, as possible. While judges base child custody decisions on many variables, and the Pennsylvania law sets forth all the factors a court must consider in a child custody case, this series includes some of the more important factors Pennsylvania courts typically consider when making these decisions.  While there are no guarantees in child custody disputes, taking these actions may increase your chances of a favorable result.

This blog is part 2 and discusses two more points of the 10 points we plan to discuss and for you to consider when trying to position yourself to maximize your physical custody of your children.

3. Find a job / work schedule that fits the children’s routine.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Working is not a negative mark against you and often suggests stability to the custody court.  However it is important that you try to find a work schedule that fits the children's schedule.  Working 8 to 5 or some variation is usually best as it coincides with school and maximizes the amount of time parents can spend with their children.  While Pennsylvania law allows the court to consider suitable childcare as a factor, parents who work third shift or second shift must often face arguments that they aren't available at critical times.  The more time for the kids, the more chances you have to increase your custody.

Keep in mind that changing jobs for custody reasons could affect your ability to pay child support, so be careful.  The court will generally not lower child support for people who voluntarily change jobs for lower wages.

4. Avoid cohabitation too soon in a new relationship.

New relationships can impact your child custody. Your choice in and character of a new mate can hurt your custody case. If the new paramour is later found to have a significant criminal record or a record of abuse, this will almost certainly hurt your custody case.

Even if you are already separated and meet someone new, there can still tension.  This is particularly true where the relationship/divorce still has unresolved issues. The spurned parent often perceives this as a character or stability issue, and will simply oppose the new person on those grounds alone.

While a custody court is highly unlikely to deny a parent a new paramour or spouse, the how, when, and where of the new relationship can influence your custody position. By adding another person to your household, you create an additional line of questions for the court. The answers can change the outcome of the case.

Please keep in mind we are not trying to set you up to "win" a court case. This series is a set of factors for you to consider to position yourself in the best place for you to contribute to the stability, welfare, and well-being of your children.

 

If you want assistance, legal representation, or just want to know more about Douglas Wortman or Medvesky Law Office, LLC, check out our website at www.medveskylaw.com.

#Custody #Divorce #Bucks_County #lawyer #lawyers, #Montgomery_County #Souderton #Law_Firm

Points to consider in your children custody case after a divorce (part 1)

Pennsylvania law does not presume one parent is better than the other as a custodial parent and many county courts look to share physical custody, as close to 50/50%, as possible. While judges base child custody decisions on many variables, and the Pennsylvania law sets forth all the factors a court must consider in a child custody case, this series includes some of the more important factors Pennsylvania courts typically consider when making these decisions.  While there are no guarantees in child custody disputes, taking these actions may increase your chances of a favorable result.



Image courtesy of AKARAKINGDOMS at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Over the next couple weeks this blog with discuss 10 points to consider when trying to position yourself to maximize your physical custody of your children.  Please keep in mind we are not trying to set you up to "win" a court case. This series is a set of factors for you to consider to position yourself in the best place for you to contribute to the stability, welfare, and well-being of your children.

1.  Try to find adequate and safe living environment.

This can be a problem for many divorcing parents, especially financially.  Ideally, you would try to find something that has age appropriate bedroom situations, allows older boys and girls to sleep separately, and an environment that avoids over-crowding.  Obviously keeping the marital home has its own advantage as the children are comfortable and acclimated to those surroundings.

Of course, financial considerations may limit your choices.  So, no matter where you move, keep it clean, neat, and habitable.  Modest housing that is clean and neat is usually all most custody judges will expect.  Even if you must rent a less than perfect abode, and the opposing parent has that, "nice house in the country", adequate sleeping areas, and cleanliness should keep you on equal ground. Judges may be negatively swayed by pictures of dirty homes and dingy appearances.

2. Stay in the same school district.

A divorce is already disruptive children’s lives and the court is, and the parents should be, looking for ways to keep as much stability as possible. School is one of the areas that can remain stable. If you move out of your child's school district, the opposing parent may argue that custody is best kept with them, so the child can retain the same friends and teachers.  This can be a powerful and persuasive argument. If the custody case is otherwise close, this may carry the day. 

Many times a parent who leaves the family residence moves without regard to the school district. They move long distances to be with new loves, parents, or just to get a fresh start.  Keep in mind that school is one of the most important aspects of your children's lives.  This is usually where most of their friends are.  Staying in the same district signals to the court that you planned your move with your children's best interest at heart.

However, if you move to a location with a much better school district than the one your child/children currently attend, you can present this in your custody case.  Just remember, much better and a little better are not the same things.  In most instances, moving schools for children who are established students is probably not going to help your custody case.  You should try to find housing in the same school district if you are the parent leaving the marital home.

If you want assistance, legal representation, or just want to know more about Douglas Wortman or Medvesky Law Office,  LLC, check out our website at www.medveskylaw.com.

#Custody #Divorce #Bucks_County #lawyer #lawyers, #Montgomery_County #Souderton #Law_Firm

Child Custody - "I'm taking the kids and moving to my mother's ..."

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In many families around Pennsylvania, children are being raised by only one of their parents. For a variety of reasons, one parent may want or need to move while the child is a minor. These reasons can include a new job or educational opportunity, to be closer to family, or to leave an abusive relationship. If you have primary physical custody of your child in Pennsylvania, you should be aware of the Commonwealth’s requirements before deciding to move.

 

Pennsylvania’s Child Custody Law was modified in January 2011, and the most recent law included several modifications regarding relocations involving minor children. The law now provides specific steps that the parent requesting the relocation must follow when the move would substantially interfere with the other parent’s custodial rights. There are two ways the relocation can occur: 

 

              1) each person with custodial rights agrees to the proposed move, or

 

              2) the Court must approve the relocation.

 

The new law requires that the parent planning to move must inform every individual with a custodial right of the proposed move. This notice must be in writing and sent to each person by certified mail, return receipt requested. With few exceptions, notice must be given at least 60 days in advance of the proposed move. This notice must include a detailed list of information pertaining to the proposed new residence, the new school district, the date of the proposed relocation, detailed information on household members, why the relocation is desired, and a proposed custody order.

 

After receiving notice of the proposed relocation, the other parent can either agree or object to the proposed relocation. The parent must file in Court within thirty days of receiving notice of the proposed move. If an objection is filed, a hearing will be held where the objecting party may oppose the proposed relocation, the proposed revised custody schedule, or both. If an objection is not received within the required time limits, the other parties cannot object to the relocation in the future.

 

When deciding to approve or reject a proposed relocation, the statute provides several factors that the court will consider.  These factors include, but are not limited to: the child’s relationship with the relocating and non-relocating party, the likely impact of the relocation on the child, the reasons for the relocation, and whether the relocation will enhance the child’s quality of life.  The list is not all-inclusive, as the court can consider any factor that affects the best interest of the child.  If the court ultimately approves the proposed relocation, the court will either modify the existing custody order or create a new custody order.

 

If you want assistance, legal representation, or just want to know more about Douglas Wortman or Medvesky Law Office,  LLC, check out our website at www.medveskylaw.com.

 

#Custody #Divorce #Bucks_County #lawyer #lawyers, #Montgomery_County #Souderton #Law_Firm

Infidelity ... the act itself is bad enough ... don't let the damage continue

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles 
at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We have had a few cases walk into the office recently where there has been an unfaithful spouse. Everyone handles it differently. Many times infidelity adds a whole new dimension to a divorce. The worse cases, from my perspective, are when the non-offending spouse allows the affair to continuously victimize him or her.

When that happens, the offended spouse either wants to be vindicated and hold the offending spouse up for ridicule in a public forum like court or wants retribution. This can create a stressful and expensive divorce.

Pennsylvania is a no fault divorce state. Infidelity does not generally play a big role in divorce (it can be a defense to spousal support and a factor in alimony). So if a couple has decided they cannot get beyond the unfaithful act, I try to get my clients to put the infidelity behind them and work on their future. Of course that is easy for me to say.

I found this article and it offers advice similar to what I have offered to clients myself:

10 Productive Ways To Move On After Infidelity (http://huff.to/1BjsNT2).

I strongly agree with at least two points in the article:

" 1. Accept that the marriage is over. Stop emotionally investing in the past. The more you hold onto the past, the more you will recreate it in your present moment and in the future. Go through the logistics of separating your lives. Take off your wedding ring. Ask yourself honestly: Are you stalling the divorce process? Why? Do you feel scared to let go?"

       and

"7. Forgive. Realize that forgiveness is really more for your benefit than for the other person's. As the famous saying goes: 'Holding onto anger is like drinking the poison and expecting the other to die.'"

It is hard for clients to make rational decisions in an effort to settle a divorce case when they are hoping it won't happen or when they are angry and want payback. If you know someone going through a divorce, let them know about this article. It could start some healthy dialogue and get them moving forward.  

Learn more about my firm Medvesky Law Office, LLC at http://www.medveskylaw.com/

WSJ - "How to Plan for a Divorce"

Here is another article I found that has decent information about preparing for divorce: http://online.wsj.com/articles/how-to-plan-for-a-divorce-1410049066

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Many times I find clients don't know enough about their financial affairs. This article lists financial affairs as its first point. The article states:

"1. Know What You Own and Make Copies.

Gather as much information as possible, as early as possible, regarding your family's finances..."

 

This is one of the most important things you can do as you prepare to initiate a divorce. As they say, information is power. Knowing what you own and being able to prove it can short-circuit some litigation.

I'm not sure I agree with every point. The fourth point may not do much for party:

"4. Watch the Timing.

Mr. Gambaccini suggests looking to file your divorce in a year when you're earning less money—for example, when you get no bonus or there is a big decline in the value of your investments. While a court will typically look at income over many years, having a recent decrease in earnings may lower future payments, such as alimony, he says."

 

In fact, depending on why a person is earning less money, this can backfire. Courts in Pennsylvania look for those people trying to spite their spouse by taking a downgrade on their jobs. If the court believes a party intentionally cut his or her salary, the court may impute the hirer income to the party. Timing is important and people need to consider their financial positions when filing. But I'm not sure how much mileage you will get in this area. 

 

The article list 4 other points to consider. They are all worth discussing with an attorney as you plan your divorce. You can use this as a guide for discussion during your initial meeting.